A man with a passport and a book on civic service!

A book of public service in one hand and a certificate of IELTS in the other. In the same bag, the admit card of the Public Service Commission examination and the form of passport together. I think I’m just a representative character, maybe millions of young people today thinking that they can do something in the country and there is nothing more than the tradition of going abroad with the idea that I can do it now.

Our country is an agricultural country. If I read this subject, which has the profession of most people, many opportunities and avenues open up. Just as agriculture has been neglected today, I am beginning to feel oppressed. The life of the farmer, who works hard and sweats it out day and night on his land, seems to be the most difficult. In their production, there are others who have improved their lives and made money with their hard work.

Vegetables produced at Rs 100 are sold for Rs 50. If not, they are forced to wash and pour on the road. It is the desire to become an entrepreneur and i see the processes from registering firms to the loan process, from the government and government agencies, from production to marketing, and the misuse of the subsidies that the government provides annually for the upbringing of its workers. Such things make you bored. And then the way abroad starts to seem appropriate.

I am a young man who feels that the sooner he manages to leave this country, the better he did. My mother’s only son, I think he will need me,  he will need my support, but seeing the current situation, he asks me, ‘Everyone is gone, when will you go?’ Which country to go to? How much money should I look for?”

He also understands that perhaps there is no fruit in stopping now,  there is no future here.

It’s not that you don’t try, it won’t go abroad. But in the end, it seems that it is only about who can keep themselves in the bhel for how long. If not today, tomorrow it will become bigger, the bigger it will be, the more people will be washed away.

The number of people swept away by this whale goes to Tribhuvan International Airport every day. Airplanes that fly with a heavy heart every day are messy. I feel like i’m going to be swept away here. Another heart says, “What if the plane carrying me didn’t take me back?” What if my parents’ eyes, who said goodbye to me with tears in their eyes, never saw me again? Such questions cause bitterness in the mind and compel us to think.

I can’t become a subba officer if I work hard, but I also hear the news of leaving the same job and going abroad. I see instances of people being forced to do things that are against the law. And the soul dies. Even after working all my life, I see incidents where my life has not improved. There is also news of life being spent in jail due to greed for money.

Friends who have gone out can see that they have earned millions  in a month, enjoyed and improved their lives. And i wonder if my love for my country has left me behind? Am I going to be left behind when everything moves forward? Isn’t it because of me that the seventh generation after me will be left behind?

A teacher by profession,  I sometimes think about my future when I try to build the future of hundreds of students. I remember a story that one of my brothers told me when I said something similar.

In the story, a wave has just come to the sea and thousands of fish are brought to the shore and thrown away. There, a little child catches the fish and throws them back into the sea. Seeing this, a man says to the child, ‘It is not possible to save so many fish alone, you cannot change the world by saving the life of 2/4 fish.’ The child replies, “Yes uncle, I can’t change the world, but the fish I save can become a world of fish.” ‘

Read the story of Nelson Mandela

When we hear and feel these and similar things, let’s stay here and help change the world, even if there are some people.  But when I look at the ground, when I look at the situation in the country, I look for my country’s place in the list of corruption,  peace, human development, education,  etc. in the world.  I want to go abroad, but I think again, will I be able to improve someone’s life by going abroad? I will become something, but can I be someone’s world?  Will I get the satisfaction of teaching students here?

Somewhere, I see brothers wandering in the country because they are unable to take decisions on time, and then I meet friends who say,  ‘Don’t come out, there is a lot of sorrow here’. I say that if there is such sadness, if it is difficult to come back. Finally, their answer comes, ‘What to do there, that’s better than there.’ ‘

Nowadays, even neighbors and relatives say, ‘Where did everyone go, when will you go?’ They probably think I haven’t gone because I couldn’t. I had given up a lot of things so that I could stay here and do something. Now I am forced to think that it is  time to think for myself, not to prove anyone right or wrong.

I’m afraid of many things, i’m not going to be alone here! Am I not alone in my own country? Of course, I am half alone,  i will not be completely alone someday? I think again, will I go there and be alone there?

Yes, As I said before, I am a person carrying a public service book and a passport in the same bag with thousands of such questions in mind. It may not be surprising to see me taking a government job exam tomorrow. Or, don’t be surprised if you see me carrying a bag at the Tribhuvan International Airport terminal tomorrow. I am not the only one. I am a representative of most of the youth of this country. I am a young man living in this country, questioning my love for the nation.

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